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What Can I Say?: A Kid's Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself; Speak Up, Speak Out, Talk about Hard Things, and Be a Good Friend
Middle school is an essential time to learn and practice social skills, including how to get along with others, talk about hard things, be an ally, and a good friend. In What Can I Say?, Catherine Newman, author of the bestseller How to Be a Person , provides supportive guidance and instruction to help kids establish or and maintain meaningful relationships and effective communication with friends, teachers, family members, and others in their communities. Talking the talk can be tricky, and every page of this super-useful book provides easy, accessible scripts and guidance on the right thing to say in all kinds of situations, from how to be inclusive, listen, give advice, argue, stick up for yourself, and ask for help to how to turn down a date, express sympathy, deal with offensive comments, respond to bullying, and be trustworthy. Humorous, graphic-style illustrations that play our familiar scenarios reenforce Newman's friendly, non-judgmental tone and her commitment to helping kids develop the skills to express themselves clearly while showing empathy, care, and generosity towards others.
160 pages, Paperback
First published May 24, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
May 17, 2022
Catherine Newman's inviting and winsome presentation make this a book that will engage readers. The colorful graphics and occasional humor add additional value to the presentation. I gave her previous book How to be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn Before You're Grown Up 5 stars. There were some fabulous tips for kids in that first book that are often overlooked in modern education. While there was a plethora of useful tips in this one, I also found some content that would be of concern for families with a biblical worldview. This would be a great book for kids to work through with a parent or trusted adult.
Thank you to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
October 7, 2021
One would think that this book is essential mainly for introverts (such as myself) who freeze at the mention of intermingling with strangers or going to a party alone. But the book is aimed not just at those who are reserved but also to those who are comfortable speaking in public but want to know how to interact better.
Communication is important, everyone already knows this. But to many people, communication involves merely talking. Effective communication needs be so much more than that. Furthermore, you have the social difficulties of establishing right communication with school peers or office colleagues or neighbours or strangers. This book helps youngsters to handle all their problems regarding the right way to communicate.
The book covers a vast range of topics; from basic hellos and goodbyes to having a conversation, from simply getting along to handling difficult topics such as apologies or gossip. It even includes a section on handling a romantic relationship (with an addendum saying that the section may be skipped and read at the right time) and a section on caring for the community (though I did feel that including content on activism stretched the idea of better communication a bit too far.) To suit the need of the day, there’s also a whole section dedicated to contemporary topics such as using the right pronouns, responding to someone who is coming out, how to respond to offensive jokes, sticking up against prejudice, and so on. Every section is handled in a very practical way such that children will be able to implement the ideas easily. There is a lot of humour in the content, making it further accessible to this young age group.
There is an abundance of illustrations exemplifying every advice in the book, which makes the advice easier to visualise and follow. The illustrations are inclusive too, huge bonus points for that.
Heartily recommended to all youngsters, parents, teachers, schools and libraries.
4.25 stars from me.
My thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
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Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
Communication is important, everyone already knows this. But to many people, communication involves merely talking. Effective communication needs be so much more than that. Furthermore, you have the social difficulties of establishing right communication with school peers or office colleagues or neighbours or strangers. This book helps youngsters to handle all their problems regarding the right way to communicate.
The book covers a vast range of topics; from basic hellos and goodbyes to having a conversation, from simply getting along to handling difficult topics such as apologies or gossip. It even includes a section on handling a romantic relationship (with an addendum saying that the section may be skipped and read at the right time) and a section on caring for the community (though I did feel that including content on activism stretched the idea of better communication a bit too far.) To suit the need of the day, there’s also a whole section dedicated to contemporary topics such as using the right pronouns, responding to someone who is coming out, how to respond to offensive jokes, sticking up against prejudice, and so on. Every section is handled in a very practical way such that children will be able to implement the ideas easily. There is a lot of humour in the content, making it further accessible to this young age group.
There is an abundance of illustrations exemplifying every advice in the book, which makes the advice easier to visualise and follow. The illustrations are inclusive too, huge bonus points for that.
Heartily recommended to all youngsters, parents, teachers, schools and libraries.
4.25 stars from me.
My thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
October 21, 2021
Good, easy to follow well illustrated, and documented book on how to interact with humans in a compassionate way.
Yes, it does teach you how to speak out, and talk and all those things in the title, but it also tells you how to say things that are a little harder to say, such as dealing with a racist joke, or hearing gossip that has a grain of truth, that you can turn back to the truth.
Simple to use techniques to make sure what you are saying is the "right" thing. Using the "I feel" line, instead of pointing it back to someone by saying "you did or you make me feel."
I don't tink I am fast enough on my feet to do a lot of these things, but it is good to have a book out there for kids, and adults too if they want, that goes over basic human decency.
Thanks to Edelweiss for making this book available for an honest review.
Yes, it does teach you how to speak out, and talk and all those things in the title, but it also tells you how to say things that are a little harder to say, such as dealing with a racist joke, or hearing gossip that has a grain of truth, that you can turn back to the truth.
Simple to use techniques to make sure what you are saying is the "right" thing. Using the "I feel" line, instead of pointing it back to someone by saying "you did or you make me feel."
I don't tink I am fast enough on my feet to do a lot of these things, but it is good to have a book out there for kids, and adults too if they want, that goes over basic human decency.
Thanks to Edelweiss for making this book available for an honest review.
January 19, 2022
The illustrations and the presentation are quite outstanding yet fun cute.
I feel this guidebook on social interaction for young readers is one of the best guidebooks I have come across. I do feel most kids feel left out and are quiet when they meet new people or people who they are not familiar with just because they do not know how to respond or start a conversation or just simply how to greet.
The illustrated guide on different common situations each kid might most possibly face are included and the tips on how to deal with them are explained well.
The book almost reads like a graphic novel. You will enjoy this one if you're reading with the kids.
One of the best young readers guidebooks I say!
Thank you, Storey Publishing, for the advance reading copy.
I feel this guidebook on social interaction for young readers is one of the best guidebooks I have come across. I do feel most kids feel left out and are quiet when they meet new people or people who they are not familiar with just because they do not know how to respond or start a conversation or just simply how to greet.
The illustrated guide on different common situations each kid might most possibly face are included and the tips on how to deal with them are explained well.
The book almost reads like a graphic novel. You will enjoy this one if you're reading with the kids.
One of the best young readers guidebooks I say!
Thank you, Storey Publishing, for the advance reading copy.
August 10, 2022
The best social skills guide for kids on shelves right now! "What Can I Say?" covers everything from basic conversation skills to bigger issues like being a good ally and standing up to prejudice - all presented in a fun, accessible way. The use of concrete examples (including in-person conversations, emails, texts, and even video chats) is extremely effective, and the advice is generally spot-on. The text is full of kid-friendly humor and written in brief, easy-to-digest chunks. Kids who aren't big readers will still learn a lot just by looking at the cartoon-like graphics, which are colorful, engaging, and wonderfully inclusive. The book is well organized, such that kids can easily skip to the relevant section as things come up in their lives.
I particularly love the book's emphasis on bodily autonomy, consent, and not just conforming to social norms - which might seem odd for a social skills book, but the focus here is really getting along with people, being true to yourself, and making the world a better place, rather than arbitrary rules. In a few places the author specifically says not to follow her suggestions if they make you feel uncomfortable, such as making eye contact when you meet someone. (I do think more space could have been devoted to explicitly addressing neurodiverse readers, but on the other hand, the book is definitely written to be as universal as possible - many autistic kids will undoubtedly find this book helpful, but it's equally applicable to neurotypical kids.) Topics like setting boundaries and saying "no" politely but firmly are also specifically discussed. I think page 93 says it best, in the section on romantic relationships: "If someone asks you out on a date and you don't want to go? You never, ever have to. Your job is to be your most authentic self - not to please other people." If that's the only message kids retain from this book, it would be well worth it!
I also wanted to stand up and cheer for the "How to NOT be in a Romantic Relationship" section (p102) - so many young people are going to feel so affirmed and seen upon reading that it's really okay not to date if you're not interested or ready. And inclusivity is woven into many of the examples and illustrations without making a big deal out of it; no need to explain that boys can date boys and girls can date girls, or what it means to be trans, but showing two feminine-presenting characters asking each other out, and a kid saying "I want you to call me Asher instead of Ashley", are exactly the kinds of representation that kids need to see. Both the queer kids and the straight/cis kids, too! I also love the repeated affirmation of the reader, such as on p84, "Relationships sometimes change, but you are still lovable and loved." For such a fun, light-hearted book, there are sure a lot of great messages packed in here.
Lastly, one of the most unique things about this book compared to other social skills guides is the inclusion of the final two chapters, "How to Be An Ally" and "How to Care for Your Community". Honestly I think the book's subtitle should have been "A Kid's Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills to Get Along, Express Yourself, and Change the World!" The world would be a better place if these chapters were required reading for every human. In fact, I kind of want to hand out copies of the "how to respond to an offensive joke" section to everyone I know! Things like making protest signs, introducing yourself with gender pronouns, and disrupting microaggressions are truly important skills for kids to be learning these days, and they're all discussed here in simple, age-appropriate terms.
As an educator and child advocate, I highly recommend this book for elementary and middle school kids (and honestly for teens and adults too, even if we’re maybe not quite the intended audience). This is a guide that kids and families will find themselves turning to again and again as they navigate the challenges and joys of growing up.
(Thanks to the publisher for providing both an ARC and a copy of the final book, upon which this honest review is based.)
I particularly love the book's emphasis on bodily autonomy, consent, and not just conforming to social norms - which might seem odd for a social skills book, but the focus here is really getting along with people, being true to yourself, and making the world a better place, rather than arbitrary rules. In a few places the author specifically says not to follow her suggestions if they make you feel uncomfortable, such as making eye contact when you meet someone. (I do think more space could have been devoted to explicitly addressing neurodiverse readers, but on the other hand, the book is definitely written to be as universal as possible - many autistic kids will undoubtedly find this book helpful, but it's equally applicable to neurotypical kids.) Topics like setting boundaries and saying "no" politely but firmly are also specifically discussed. I think page 93 says it best, in the section on romantic relationships: "If someone asks you out on a date and you don't want to go? You never, ever have to. Your job is to be your most authentic self - not to please other people." If that's the only message kids retain from this book, it would be well worth it!
I also wanted to stand up and cheer for the "How to NOT be in a Romantic Relationship" section (p102) - so many young people are going to feel so affirmed and seen upon reading that it's really okay not to date if you're not interested or ready. And inclusivity is woven into many of the examples and illustrations without making a big deal out of it; no need to explain that boys can date boys and girls can date girls, or what it means to be trans, but showing two feminine-presenting characters asking each other out, and a kid saying "I want you to call me Asher instead of Ashley", are exactly the kinds of representation that kids need to see. Both the queer kids and the straight/cis kids, too! I also love the repeated affirmation of the reader, such as on p84, "Relationships sometimes change, but you are still lovable and loved." For such a fun, light-hearted book, there are sure a lot of great messages packed in here.
Lastly, one of the most unique things about this book compared to other social skills guides is the inclusion of the final two chapters, "How to Be An Ally" and "How to Care for Your Community". Honestly I think the book's subtitle should have been "A Kid's Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills to Get Along, Express Yourself, and Change the World!" The world would be a better place if these chapters were required reading for every human. In fact, I kind of want to hand out copies of the "how to respond to an offensive joke" section to everyone I know! Things like making protest signs, introducing yourself with gender pronouns, and disrupting microaggressions are truly important skills for kids to be learning these days, and they're all discussed here in simple, age-appropriate terms.
As an educator and child advocate, I highly recommend this book for elementary and middle school kids (and honestly for teens and adults too, even if we’re maybe not quite the intended audience). This is a guide that kids and families will find themselves turning to again and again as they navigate the challenges and joys of growing up.
(Thanks to the publisher for providing both an ARC and a copy of the final book, upon which this honest review is based.)
April 26, 2022
I received an advance ebook via Netgalley.
What Can I Say? is a full-color graphical book for middle graders, providing basic guidance on social interactions and dilemmas in a way that is progressive and fully inclusive. The attitude of the book is stated forthrightly at the beginning: "Learning how to be more kind, gracious, expressive, compassionate, responsible, respectful, and authentic in your interactions is going to make the world a better place, filled with happier people. Plus, it's going to help you yourself in a million ways." There's also no pressure to do things one right way. "Normal is not even a thing, and everyone doesn't have to be the same kind of person." As the parent of an autistic teenager, I also appreciated the brief mention that readers might be autistic or shy or have social anxiety.
The book is divided into numerous fast-to-read chapters: How to meet, greet, and part; how to have a conversation; how to get along with people; how to deal with hard things; how to be in a romantic relationship (or not); how to be supportive; how to be an ally; how to care for your community. The book is current and helpful by mentioning that some readers or their friends might identify as nonbinary or gay, and how to handle things like learning pronouns, and how to stand up for causes that are right. The illustrations throughout are such a joy, and do include kids who are gay and even doing very contemporary things like talking by video chat. Some especially awkward situations are addressed, too, like how to speak up politely if a relative is making racist jokes. These are things kids have to deal with every day and often feel so alone.
This is the kind of book that will save lives by letting kids know that they are seen, that they matter, that their voices deserve to be heard.
What Can I Say? is a full-color graphical book for middle graders, providing basic guidance on social interactions and dilemmas in a way that is progressive and fully inclusive. The attitude of the book is stated forthrightly at the beginning: "Learning how to be more kind, gracious, expressive, compassionate, responsible, respectful, and authentic in your interactions is going to make the world a better place, filled with happier people. Plus, it's going to help you yourself in a million ways." There's also no pressure to do things one right way. "Normal is not even a thing, and everyone doesn't have to be the same kind of person." As the parent of an autistic teenager, I also appreciated the brief mention that readers might be autistic or shy or have social anxiety.
The book is divided into numerous fast-to-read chapters: How to meet, greet, and part; how to have a conversation; how to get along with people; how to deal with hard things; how to be in a romantic relationship (or not); how to be supportive; how to be an ally; how to care for your community. The book is current and helpful by mentioning that some readers or their friends might identify as nonbinary or gay, and how to handle things like learning pronouns, and how to stand up for causes that are right. The illustrations throughout are such a joy, and do include kids who are gay and even doing very contemporary things like talking by video chat. Some especially awkward situations are addressed, too, like how to speak up politely if a relative is making racist jokes. These are things kids have to deal with every day and often feel so alone.
This is the kind of book that will save lives by letting kids know that they are seen, that they matter, that their voices deserve to be heard.
October 13, 2021
*I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for a review.
This book is a really great guide for kids because it teaches them exactly what they can say in situations to stand up for themselves and others. I liked that it not only focused on respectful communication, but making sure that they know they don’t have to just be respectful, they can stand up for themselves and be clear about what they want.
It is an inclusive book that encourages kids to get to know others who are different and teaches them how to stand up for marginalized communities in several different ways. I also LOVED that it gave clear examples of how to disrupt things like racism, homophobia, and ableism when it comes in the form of a “joke” or comes from a friend or family that we love. I think even as an adult it can be hardest to speak up to people we know rather than strangers, and this makes such a big difference for kids to know what to say to disrupt these ideas without straining a relationship. This is just as important as any other activism so I’m glad it was included in more than one example.
This book has a very wide range of topics, and I wish it was more focused. Some of the topics were quickly breezed over because there were so many different things to talk about. I think it could have been better if it cut down on the amount of topics and delved in deeper to some, because some were so brief they could have easily been cut out. Some topics I read and then was thinking “oh that’s over?” while others included plenty of information.
Overall a good book, one I would definitely share with students!
This book is a really great guide for kids because it teaches them exactly what they can say in situations to stand up for themselves and others. I liked that it not only focused on respectful communication, but making sure that they know they don’t have to just be respectful, they can stand up for themselves and be clear about what they want.
It is an inclusive book that encourages kids to get to know others who are different and teaches them how to stand up for marginalized communities in several different ways. I also LOVED that it gave clear examples of how to disrupt things like racism, homophobia, and ableism when it comes in the form of a “joke” or comes from a friend or family that we love. I think even as an adult it can be hardest to speak up to people we know rather than strangers, and this makes such a big difference for kids to know what to say to disrupt these ideas without straining a relationship. This is just as important as any other activism so I’m glad it was included in more than one example.
This book has a very wide range of topics, and I wish it was more focused. Some of the topics were quickly breezed over because there were so many different things to talk about. I think it could have been better if it cut down on the amount of topics and delved in deeper to some, because some were so brief they could have easily been cut out. Some topics I read and then was thinking “oh that’s over?” while others included plenty of information.
Overall a good book, one I would definitely share with students!
September 24, 2021
I was first introduced to Catherine Newman's writing when I read and reviewed her May 2020 book release, How to be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn Before You're Grown Up.
I loved that these simple yet important life skills. were covered in a simple and easy to consume manner, something that is not that easy to find these days! The first few years of parenthood really are all about survival- and then you come out on the other side and realize you are also raising a real live HUMAN who, under your supervision will need to learn how to be a competent and functional adult!
So, How to be A Person is a much needed gem of a tool, and is filled with tips and tricks while also having a perfect balance of information and humor. I read it with our then 9 year old son and we both found that the writing was accessible and relatable. So when I saw "What Can I Say?" I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough!
Just like how teaching our kids all the logistics of daily life can be trickier than we ever imagined, knowing the right things to say can be just as complex, if not more so.
In a world where we are connected in so many ways, our words can be more powerful than ever before. Shown through engaging graphics and relatable narration, Newman walks us through dozens of social situations, from navigating peer interactions to how to be an ally. Her writing is compassionate and sparked so many great discussions with our pre-teen.
Thank you to Storey Publishing for my gifted review copy.
I loved that these simple yet important life skills. were covered in a simple and easy to consume manner, something that is not that easy to find these days! The first few years of parenthood really are all about survival- and then you come out on the other side and realize you are also raising a real live HUMAN who, under your supervision will need to learn how to be a competent and functional adult!
So, How to be A Person is a much needed gem of a tool, and is filled with tips and tricks while also having a perfect balance of information and humor. I read it with our then 9 year old son and we both found that the writing was accessible and relatable. So when I saw "What Can I Say?" I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough!
Just like how teaching our kids all the logistics of daily life can be trickier than we ever imagined, knowing the right things to say can be just as complex, if not more so.
In a world where we are connected in so many ways, our words can be more powerful than ever before. Shown through engaging graphics and relatable narration, Newman walks us through dozens of social situations, from navigating peer interactions to how to be an ally. Her writing is compassionate and sparked so many great discussions with our pre-teen.
Thank you to Storey Publishing for my gifted review copy.
January 12, 2022
This middle school guide to “learn and practice social skills” is just the book I could have benefited from as a pre-teen, hormonal smirch; except now I have the ability to recommend this gem of a manual to the masses!
I received an ARC from the author and publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I received an ARC from the author and publisher in exchange for an honest review.
February 21, 2023
Just great. Now to buy copies for all the tweens I know
October 21, 2021
This was a great book to read with my 11- and 8-year-old kids. It was written in very plain and clear language and covered a range of topics, including tips for interpersonal relationships and personal responsibility. It was a great book to spark conversations about the impact of our words and behaviours. It included things like how to apologize and how not to be a bystander. There was a strong social justice focus that I really appreciated.
I will purchase and keep at home for the kids when it is published.
I received a digital Advanced Review Copy from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.
I will purchase and keep at home for the kids when it is published.
I received a digital Advanced Review Copy from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.
April 9, 2022
Really liked this book. The accessible way that pertinent issues were discussed make it ideal for research, self help or guidance.
I would say that it's suitable for all ages, abilities and confidence levels. Offering tips, scenarios and scripts is ideal for neurotypical and neurodiverse. Even if you're the most clued up person socially or struggle 1:1 or in groups, you will gain something from reading a chapter or two.
Helpfully themes/issues are set out clearly in chapters, meaning you don't have to read the whole book taking notes to have a decent summary on a topic. Not all the scenarios met the mark, but that's to be expected, nor am I the target audience. But that said it tackles well the fundementals of new situations, what to say, when to say it and how to be comfortable being you.
Forgot to say that I got this via NetGalley and the formatting was pants even in the NetGalley app. That was probably the most annoying part of reading this book.
I would say that it's suitable for all ages, abilities and confidence levels. Offering tips, scenarios and scripts is ideal for neurotypical and neurodiverse. Even if you're the most clued up person socially or struggle 1:1 or in groups, you will gain something from reading a chapter or two.
Helpfully themes/issues are set out clearly in chapters, meaning you don't have to read the whole book taking notes to have a decent summary on a topic. Not all the scenarios met the mark, but that's to be expected, nor am I the target audience. But that said it tackles well the fundementals of new situations, what to say, when to say it and how to be comfortable being you.
Forgot to say that I got this via NetGalley and the formatting was pants even in the NetGalley app. That was probably the most annoying part of reading this book.
November 6, 2021
This was really a great book!
It is a book for kids but I suggest it for everyone from teens to adults. All the tips are really helpful, I used them in a friend's party and I easily communicated with other people there.
The book also focuses on how to talk about pronouns, sexuality, racism and prejudices. The cartoons in the book are fun and diverse depicting common scenarios and activities.
I enjoyed the book and thankyou Netgalley for the ARC!
It is a book for kids but I suggest it for everyone from teens to adults. All the tips are really helpful, I used them in a friend's party and I easily communicated with other people there.
The book also focuses on how to talk about pronouns, sexuality, racism and prejudices. The cartoons in the book are fun and diverse depicting common scenarios and activities.
I enjoyed the book and thankyou Netgalley for the ARC!
January 25, 2022
This book is, in my honest opinion, very relatable and an easy guide not just to kids but for all introverts.
During the course of the COVID-19, many of the kids and even adults have been more isolated and learning from home. In other words, face-to-face communication is very different from the "Zooming" and virtual world.
This book shows us how to strike up conversations, how to be respectful, and how to be very clear about how to stand up for themselves and not be a wallflower who gets run over by others. The cartoon visuals make this book fun to read and are very helpful. You don't feel like you are reading boring nonfiction of some sort.
I greatly appreciated the book focusing on issues that need to be addressed, which includes racism and prejudice, pronouns, and sexuality. It's okay to ask questions and not know how to ask or who to ask, this is a great help.
I received this ARC copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
During the course of the COVID-19, many of the kids and even adults have been more isolated and learning from home. In other words, face-to-face communication is very different from the "Zooming" and virtual world.
This book shows us how to strike up conversations, how to be respectful, and how to be very clear about how to stand up for themselves and not be a wallflower who gets run over by others. The cartoon visuals make this book fun to read and are very helpful. You don't feel like you are reading boring nonfiction of some sort.
I greatly appreciated the book focusing on issues that need to be addressed, which includes racism and prejudice, pronouns, and sexuality. It's okay to ask questions and not know how to ask or who to ask, this is a great help.
I received this ARC copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 26, 2021
What a fantastic book for kids, and grown ups! I think it's probably best suited for tweens, but younger or older kids would still get value from it. Heck, I'm in my 40s and I learned a thing or two. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to say. This book helps with some social basics, but also more complex situations like bullying, dating, and being an upstander when you see injustice. Some parents might write this book off based on some of the progressive themes, but that's a shame because there is so much more than that to this book.
I will be buying this for our home library, and recommending it to friends.
Many thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
I will be buying this for our home library, and recommending it to friends.
Many thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
September 20, 2021
The concepts and ideas in this book are good but I have a few suggestions. The title made me believe the book was going to be about how to handle social situations and give tips and tricks for that type of stuff. While the book briefly does this, it continues on and covers a wide range of topics. For me personally I would have preferred if the book focused on what the title suggested. I wanted more information on those topics and not information about how to make a poster for a protest. I wish the author had given more examples for each topic and gone into greater depth. The book felt a little all over the place with the wide range of topics.
September 18, 2021
What Can I Say? A Kid’s Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills That Will Help You Get Along and Express Yourself written by Catherine Newman & illustrated by Debbie Fong is an amazing resource!
The intended audience is middle grade to young adult readers but really any one of any age who could use a refresher in social skills should read this! Any one who has kids or teaches kids should read & share this! The range of topics discussed in this book are absolutely fantastic. From how to be a good friend, how to listen, stand up for yourself, how to respond to bullying, how to be an ally, express sympathy, understand empathy, how to date or not date, how to be inclusive, how to use pronouns, and much more!
There are illustrated examples given under each topic to help kids make the connection between what it means to be x and what that may look like in their own lives. There is also a little pop quiz at the end of each chapter on what would be the most appropriate response or action based on a given situation. It’s light, at times funny, and always non-judgemental.
I wish this book existed when I was younger. It is a useful compass for how to navigate emotions, friends, relationships, understanding others and yourself at a very confusing time in life when a child or young adult may not have the best role models equipped to practice or share these social skills with them.
These social skills are essential to learn and what a wonderful book to share with our youth today. I would recommend this for middle grade and YA readers and really for any one who has ever struggled with social skills. This would make a great classroom, library, and homeschool addition and I will be recommending this one to any one with kids and teachers. I will definitely purchase a copy for my own children as well.
Thank you to NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to Catherine Newman for making this book!
The intended audience is middle grade to young adult readers but really any one of any age who could use a refresher in social skills should read this! Any one who has kids or teaches kids should read & share this! The range of topics discussed in this book are absolutely fantastic. From how to be a good friend, how to listen, stand up for yourself, how to respond to bullying, how to be an ally, express sympathy, understand empathy, how to date or not date, how to be inclusive, how to use pronouns, and much more!
There are illustrated examples given under each topic to help kids make the connection between what it means to be x and what that may look like in their own lives. There is also a little pop quiz at the end of each chapter on what would be the most appropriate response or action based on a given situation. It’s light, at times funny, and always non-judgemental.
I wish this book existed when I was younger. It is a useful compass for how to navigate emotions, friends, relationships, understanding others and yourself at a very confusing time in life when a child or young adult may not have the best role models equipped to practice or share these social skills with them.
These social skills are essential to learn and what a wonderful book to share with our youth today. I would recommend this for middle grade and YA readers and really for any one who has ever struggled with social skills. This would make a great classroom, library, and homeschool addition and I will be recommending this one to any one with kids and teachers. I will definitely purchase a copy for my own children as well.
Thank you to NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to Catherine Newman for making this book!
September 21, 2021
I wish I had this book when I was a kid! It goes over many social conventions that we take for granted, and it lays out why the way to do things are the best way to handle social issues. For example, it talks about how to handle interactions with a sad friend or family member using empathy. I think the graphic nature of the explanations will appeal to kids more than simple type would.
I like that includes how to use gender neutral phrases to be inclusive, though this would be enhanced with some examples of how to use gender neutral language to avoid assumptions until a persons gender has been confirmed. For example, you can say “did you have fun with Marcie and their parents” and when you get the response “yes, her moms took us to the zoo” then now you know the gender pronouns to use and can reply “Great! I’m glad you had fun with marcie and her moms”. Or asking about someone’s partner until they confirm the language they use to refer to their partner “husband, girlfriend, wife, partner” etc and then using what they said. I didn’t learn that until adulthood and it’s really helpful language.
I would have loved to see a section on handling conversation in a group rather than just 1-on-1. You know how you’ll be in a big group conversation and can’t decide the best time to interject with something, and then by the time a space in the conversation opens up, your addition isn’t relevant any more? Or how best to include someone in a group conversation who is being quiet. This might be more advanced fare for a sequel.
All in all, I’d definitely recommend the book. I think it’s a great way to outline social etiquette that we assume people pick up naturally or learn from others, but not everyone does. I know plenty of adults that could use some of the knowledge in this book.
I like that includes how to use gender neutral phrases to be inclusive, though this would be enhanced with some examples of how to use gender neutral language to avoid assumptions until a persons gender has been confirmed. For example, you can say “did you have fun with Marcie and their parents” and when you get the response “yes, her moms took us to the zoo” then now you know the gender pronouns to use and can reply “Great! I’m glad you had fun with marcie and her moms”. Or asking about someone’s partner until they confirm the language they use to refer to their partner “husband, girlfriend, wife, partner” etc and then using what they said. I didn’t learn that until adulthood and it’s really helpful language.
I would have loved to see a section on handling conversation in a group rather than just 1-on-1. You know how you’ll be in a big group conversation and can’t decide the best time to interject with something, and then by the time a space in the conversation opens up, your addition isn’t relevant any more? Or how best to include someone in a group conversation who is being quiet. This might be more advanced fare for a sequel.
All in all, I’d definitely recommend the book. I think it’s a great way to outline social etiquette that we assume people pick up naturally or learn from others, but not everyone does. I know plenty of adults that could use some of the knowledge in this book.
October 8, 2022
What Can I Say? follows in the style of this author's How to Be a Person but focuses on social interactions. It's got a very encouraging tone overall, emphasizing that etiquette shouldn't mean that everyone has to be or act the same way and acknowledging that these sorts of things are harder for those who are shy or neurodivergent, and it's okay to modify things to suit yourself and the situation. There are plenty of cute, inclusive illustrations and funny examples of what to say. However, I wished at times that it would go into more depth as to WHY one should say a certain thing, or what different quotes would imply.
Nice to see that the topics include dating, not dating (including that friendship isn't "less" than romance), coming out or supporting someone who is, and challenging racism or offensive jokes. There was definitely room to go more in depth with these topics, but as an introduction for kids as part of a larger book, it's a good start. I liked that the idea of sharing pronouns was mentioned, though I didn't like the message "Saying what pronouns you use lets people know what gender you identify with (if any)". For a range of reasons, someone might use pronouns that aren't traditionally associated with their gender identity, and so we shouldn't assume we know someone's identity based on their pronouns. And though the introduction talks about wanting to be inclusive of those with disabilities, the actual advice on inclusivity in the body of the book focuses on people of color and queer people but doesn't offer much in the way of how kids can be supportive of people with disabilities.
So, overall, not a comprehensive guide to interacting with other people, but a cute introduction to some important tactics kids (and adults!) can use.
Nice to see that the topics include dating, not dating (including that friendship isn't "less" than romance), coming out or supporting someone who is, and challenging racism or offensive jokes. There was definitely room to go more in depth with these topics, but as an introduction for kids as part of a larger book, it's a good start. I liked that the idea of sharing pronouns was mentioned, though I didn't like the message "Saying what pronouns you use lets people know what gender you identify with (if any)". For a range of reasons, someone might use pronouns that aren't traditionally associated with their gender identity, and so we shouldn't assume we know someone's identity based on their pronouns. And though the introduction talks about wanting to be inclusive of those with disabilities, the actual advice on inclusivity in the body of the book focuses on people of color and queer people but doesn't offer much in the way of how kids can be supportive of people with disabilities.
So, overall, not a comprehensive guide to interacting with other people, but a cute introduction to some important tactics kids (and adults!) can use.
January 29, 2022
A charming followup to How To Be A Person, this offers useful communication tips from the very basic (How to Meet, Greet, and Part) to bigger, tougher scenarios like responding to bullying, or an offensive joke, or standing up for somebody, and moves from interpersonal communication to being an activist, ally, and good neighbor and community member ("Drop off cookies if you make extra. Okay, yes, 'extra' cookies aren't even a thing, but you know what we mean.") I love that the section "How to Ask for Help" begins, "Independence is overrated! We all need help--lots of it, and frequently."
The book keeps it light with funny examples (the Raisin Harvest Dance, a grilled cheese sandwich with unfortunate gummy bears in it, dancing like an awkward broken pogo stick) and is full of heart and wise advice.
It starts with the reminder that communication can be hard and there's no one right way: "What matters most is that you try to be your best self and balance other people's needs with your own." And then ends beautifully, simply, with "Be a force of kindness in your home, your school, your friend group, your neighborhood, your town and the world. You will never, ever regret it."
I wish I'd had this when my kids were younger -- and when I was younger!
The book keeps it light with funny examples (the Raisin Harvest Dance, a grilled cheese sandwich with unfortunate gummy bears in it, dancing like an awkward broken pogo stick) and is full of heart and wise advice.
It starts with the reminder that communication can be hard and there's no one right way: "What matters most is that you try to be your best self and balance other people's needs with your own." And then ends beautifully, simply, with "Be a force of kindness in your home, your school, your friend group, your neighborhood, your town and the world. You will never, ever regret it."
I wish I'd had this when my kids were younger -- and when I was younger!
May 27, 2022
What Can I Say? is an illustrated guide with short, accessible tidbits of useful information to help kids with communication across multiple topics and issues. I do wish there was more depth to many of the conversation-based topics and less info on how to volunteer or be a good neighbor or make a protest sign (those are all good things, but maybe for a different book?)
For instance, I love that she included an example of something to say when your racist uncle makes an offensive joke, but it felt incomplete. I would have liked an additional panel or twelve on how to continue the conversation when said racist uncle doubles down. Racist Uncle Joe isn't going to just accept your one-off truth bomb and stop being an asshole.
I do think this would be a good addition to any elementary school classroom or library and can serve as a good jumping off point for larger conversations. I'd say the audience is tweens and younger -- my 13-year-old thought the information provided was useful, but that the presentation was "cringey".
* thank you to Storey Publishing for the NetGalley review copy. What Can I Say? publishes May 24th.
For instance, I love that she included an example of something to say when your racist uncle makes an offensive joke, but it felt incomplete. I would have liked an additional panel or twelve on how to continue the conversation when said racist uncle doubles down. Racist Uncle Joe isn't going to just accept your one-off truth bomb and stop being an asshole.
I do think this would be a good addition to any elementary school classroom or library and can serve as a good jumping off point for larger conversations. I'd say the audience is tweens and younger -- my 13-year-old thought the information provided was useful, but that the presentation was "cringey".
* thank you to Storey Publishing for the NetGalley review copy. What Can I Say? publishes May 24th.
June 10, 2022
Kids in middle grade school often find it difficult to communicate or what to do in new situations. She discusses the basic social goals including manners indirectly. How to say hi to someone new, what to do about prejudice, how to be an ally and be supportive are only a few of the different social skills she talks about. She gives examples of what to do and what not to do. The author has done an excellent job of explaining skills I would not even consider social skills — just good manners. The art is friendly and funny. Fogg did an excellent job as the art goes perfectly with book. So many people are only communicating on their cell phones so when they meet an actual person, they may not know what to say or have forgotten because it’s been so long not sure what to do. This happens even at home. I like the author’s common sense and how she lets you know it is okay to be yourself. This book is important to read regardless of your age.
Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book from the author/publisher from Netgalley. I wasn’t obligated to write a favorable review or any review at all. The opinions are strictly my own.
Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book from the author/publisher from Netgalley. I wasn’t obligated to write a favorable review or any review at all. The opinions are strictly my own.
December 19, 2023
This book has a lot of "modern" indoctrination/agenda stuff in it like some of the following which is likely to not be compatible with many conservative and/or Christian families:
One of the cartoon characters says, "Oh my G*d."
Quote from p. 89: "Maybe you've got a crush or you're actually dating someone or maybe you're not interested in a more-than-friends relationship now (or ever). Every one of those things is just perfect! And so are all of the different ways you might experience or express your gender or sexuality."
p. 93 shows a girl romantically interested in another girl
p. 94 starts a section about what if you're LGBTQ+
p. 134 shows a child and her mom having a conversation where the mom says, "I don't see color! Everyone's the same in my eyes." and the child says, "I know what you mean, mom. But for a black person, being black is a really important part of how they experience the world." (plus other racial stuff)
Then there is a section on racial microaggression on p. 137
p. 138 has a "how to talk about pronouns" section
ETC. I didn't take the time to mention it all.
This book gets a hard NO from me.
One of the cartoon characters says, "Oh my G*d."
Quote from p. 89: "Maybe you've got a crush or you're actually dating someone or maybe you're not interested in a more-than-friends relationship now (or ever). Every one of those things is just perfect! And so are all of the different ways you might experience or express your gender or sexuality."
p. 93 shows a girl romantically interested in another girl
p. 94 starts a section about what if you're LGBTQ+
p. 134 shows a child and her mom having a conversation where the mom says, "I don't see color! Everyone's the same in my eyes." and the child says, "I know what you mean, mom. But for a black person, being black is a really important part of how they experience the world." (plus other racial stuff)
Then there is a section on racial microaggression on p. 137
p. 138 has a "how to talk about pronouns" section
ETC. I didn't take the time to mention it all.
This book gets a hard NO from me.
November 3, 2021
I LOVE this! This is such a clear, simple guide to both basic and more complex social skills that is actually fun to read! The light, irreverent tone provides plenty of chuckles and makes this seem like a conversation with a wise friend, not a whole book of "shoulds" and "should nots".
The tone and topics make this appropriate for middle school students, but it could be just as useful for high school and older, especially if the reader is possibly neurodivergent or simply in need of a bit of support in navigating social relationships. Clear examples are given for all kinds of interaction and the scripts provided are incredibly useful. Sometimes just having the words available makes everything so much easier!
I would heartily recommend this for school and community libraries as well as for a school psychologist or guidance counselor's bookshelf. There's no one who couldn't benefit from giving this a read!
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
The tone and topics make this appropriate for middle school students, but it could be just as useful for high school and older, especially if the reader is possibly neurodivergent or simply in need of a bit of support in navigating social relationships. Clear examples are given for all kinds of interaction and the scripts provided are incredibly useful. Sometimes just having the words available makes everything so much easier!
I would heartily recommend this for school and community libraries as well as for a school psychologist or guidance counselor's bookshelf. There's no one who couldn't benefit from giving this a read!
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
December 23, 2021
Look; tweenhood is tough. Anyone who says it isn't is either lying or deluding themselves. It's even tougher when you have to spend half your time trying to decipher what everyone around you means when they're talking. That's why this book will be a godsend.
Written in clear, simple language, bolstered with fun cartoons and comics, this is the guide everyone needs. I would love to see teachers reading this with their class, parents reading with their kids, kids reading with other kids...I'm an adult (apparently?) and I feel like I learned some things from this book.
As I was reading a proof, the conversion to Kindle wasn't perfect and a few things were in the wrong places, but I'm sure that'll be fixed by publication. The important thing is that all the cartoons and illustrations came through perfectly! They're fantastic, really helping to clarify while adding a light tone to the story. I really enjoyed looking through them.
This is a fantastic book, one I hope will do really well. It really deserves to.
Written in clear, simple language, bolstered with fun cartoons and comics, this is the guide everyone needs. I would love to see teachers reading this with their class, parents reading with their kids, kids reading with other kids...I'm an adult (apparently?) and I feel like I learned some things from this book.
As I was reading a proof, the conversion to Kindle wasn't perfect and a few things were in the wrong places, but I'm sure that'll be fixed by publication. The important thing is that all the cartoons and illustrations came through perfectly! They're fantastic, really helping to clarify while adding a light tone to the story. I really enjoyed looking through them.
This is a fantastic book, one I hope will do really well. It really deserves to.
December 8, 2022
This book was received as an ARC from Storey Publishing - Storey Publishing, LLC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.
Middle school is a wonderful time to develop the social skills that will help you succeed throughout school and in life itself. Catherine Newman has composed a useful guide teaching middle schoolers powerful words to say at the appropriate times to make their voices heard in the world. We've all felt horrible and awkward when we have to decline invitations, reject someone's offer, or any negative circumstance, but Newman gives us step-by-step guidance in a way that is courteous, professional, and polite avoiding those awkward conversations. Reading books like these bring me joy, but I also am a little flabbergasted on why these books were not around when I was in middle school and/or mad at myself that I did not find and read them myself depriving myself of this helpful information.
A useful, informative, life-saver of a guide that will change lives. This book deserves 5 stars.
Middle school is a wonderful time to develop the social skills that will help you succeed throughout school and in life itself. Catherine Newman has composed a useful guide teaching middle schoolers powerful words to say at the appropriate times to make their voices heard in the world. We've all felt horrible and awkward when we have to decline invitations, reject someone's offer, or any negative circumstance, but Newman gives us step-by-step guidance in a way that is courteous, professional, and polite avoiding those awkward conversations. Reading books like these bring me joy, but I also am a little flabbergasted on why these books were not around when I was in middle school and/or mad at myself that I did not find and read them myself depriving myself of this helpful information.
A useful, informative, life-saver of a guide that will change lives. This book deserves 5 stars.
May 22, 2022
What Can I Say?: A Kid's Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself; Speak Up, Speak Out, Talk about Hard Things, and Be a Good Friend by Catherine Newman is a great resource for kids and families. This book has a fun, engaging format that makes it easy for kids to pick up and read. The book actually deals with quite a few social topics. I think this book would be great for kids of many ages, with parental support and guidance. I read parts of it along with my son and I found that to be the perfect format so we could discuss the book's contents. I particularly liked the quizzes at the end of each chapter because they reinforced the concepts in a silly way. I don't think this is a book to be read through all at once. Rather, use the table of contents wisely to address issues with your child as they come up. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.
March 23, 2022
This fantastic guide to social skills is perfectly pitched for the target audience of children aged 10+ With bright, humourous graphics and a warm, conversational tone throughout, it is an absolutely perfect 'how to' guide for a number of highly relevant topics including getting along with people, dealing with hard things, being an ally and caring for your community. The 4 step 'behaviour test' is something I can imagining displaying in a classroom to encourage self awareness among my pupils and the level of effort made throughout the book to be genuinely inclusive and supportive of every young person as they develop their social skills was really wonderful to see. I will definitely be buying a copy when it's published later this year!
Thanks to NetGalley and Storey Publishing for a free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to NetGalley and Storey Publishing for a free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 18, 2022
Honestly, adults need this book, too.
What Can I Say is a wonderful how-to book that helps guide the reader through all sorts of conversations. Some are simple and some are really not, but all are moments that will happen at some point, and having a script to follow will help a lot of people. I know it will help me.
Ms. Newman sets up the situations and gives multiple ideas to help navigate through them. She often includes the caveat that the reader may not feel comfortable or may not feel safe and that it's okay to seek help from others, or find another way around a difficult situation. Giving people options is an excellent way to let people know that one size doesn't fit all.
My thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
What Can I Say is a wonderful how-to book that helps guide the reader through all sorts of conversations. Some are simple and some are really not, but all are moments that will happen at some point, and having a script to follow will help a lot of people. I know it will help me.
Ms. Newman sets up the situations and gives multiple ideas to help navigate through them. She often includes the caveat that the reader may not feel comfortable or may not feel safe and that it's okay to seek help from others, or find another way around a difficult situation. Giving people options is an excellent way to let people know that one size doesn't fit all.
My thanks to Storey Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
January 19, 2022
This book was a great read. I read it with my 13 year old middle grader, and the book definitely helps pre-teens & teens on topics that can be difficult to navigate. I appreciate Story Publishing& NetGalley for the Early digital ARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, in all honesty I feel blessed that I was able to add this to my arsenal of tools to help my child navigate this new and sometimes difficult era of his life, especially since they are on the autism spectrum and that makes the topics in this book even more difficult to navigate sometimes. I highly recommend this to everyone who has a child entering the preteen/teen portion of their lives and who as a parent like me is having difficulty navigating it with their child and who might not have all the answers
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